To social media or not to social media?
It’s a dilemma faced by all parents at some stage in their child’s life, made more complex by the flood of negative commentary on this issue in the media.
But it’s not all bad news. We sat down with one of our School Psychologists, Angela Neuhof, who regularly discusses social media with secondary students as well as their parents, to gain some helpful and practical insights.
Angela started our conversation by emphasising that there are some benefits to using social media for young people.
“Social media can be a way for your child to connect with peers outside of school, which allows them to find things in common and strengthen their friendships by having fun together. Of course, some platforms like YouTube and TikTok can also be a great way for anyone to learn new skills,” said Angela.
For Angela, the key to helping young people to have a positive experience with social media is open communication – acknowledging the positives as well as discussing the potential risks.
Angela has three main concerns about social media that she believes we should be talking to our children about.
“Firstly, social media is rife with false information and scaremongering, so it’s important to help your child to think about where their information is coming from and to be alert to harmful messages”.
“In a similar way, we must also teach our young people that some people on social media are not truthful, because it’s through being overly-trusting that opportunities for grooming and unsafe interactions occur.”
“We also need to talk at home about the fact that social media can be used to ‘target’ people, and what to do if they are being bullied online or if they observe cyber-bullying of others in their social network.”
“My strongest advice to parents is to build ‘bridges’ rather than walls. Be curious and ask your child why they are interested in social media apps or games. Find out what they enjoy about these environments and even use their app or game with them, modelling healthy engagement,” said Angela.
Then, it’s also incredibly important to arm yourself with the right knowledge about the app or game that your child is interested in, especially the parental controls available. There are many sites that have invaluable information that is updated regularly, including Common Sense Media.
Angela went on to offer a number of very practical solutions.
“Set ground rules for social media usage right from the start, for example set time limits and do not allow devices to be used in the bedroom. There are social media contract templates that can help structure your discussion and boundary-setting, and even In-Charge boxes which can help manage screen usage as part of a contract.”
Finally, Angela offered some reassuring words, that social media and gaming do not need to create division in your family.
“Your connection with your child will be strengthened if you lean into their request for social media platforms, but your role is to also provide firm boundaries and guidance. It can feel overwhelming but access to the right information will help you to feel prepared. When making decisions around use, it will also depend on the maturity of your child, your capacity to supervise your child and the age of siblings, as to whether it is the right choice for your family or not”.
There is a wealth of valuable and regularly updated content available for parents including:
- Common Sense Media
- Think U Know
- e-Safety Commissioner
- Australian Centre to Counter Child Exploitation
- ReachOutParents – recent story about social media